Medal for German Grammarian

Now we all know that grammarians deserve praise and recognition, but it's not often they get a medal, is it? Or maybe it is, maybe there's some kind of special grammarian's league that awards its own honours in gold and silver once every three years. What do I know?

Anyway, German being a language with very prescriptive grammar and very strict spelling rules, passed by parliament and all that, it makes sense for a German grammarian to get a medal from the president. And Christian Stang has done just that. Or had just that done to him. Or will have just that done to him in the near future, as the trade press reports. Herr Stang is actually younger than me and works for the German post office. Which means he is that very cool thing, a grammarian in his free time. He published his first book (on punctuation) at the age of 19 and it seems he's never looked back.

I'm trying not to be overly envious. I'm consoling myself with the fact that once you've been awarded a medal by the president for your services to German grammar, spelling and punctuation at the age of 35, it's all downhill from there on. Or from then on.

John Le Carré on the Benefits of Learning German... in German

The arch-British writer John Le Carré has never made a secret of his enthusiasm for all things German, and recently held a speech on the subject for the London-based ThinkGerman project. Unfortunately, although I came across the speech online, it seems to be only available in German translation, in the FAZ. A classic case of preaching to the converted - but it's well worth reading anyway. My favourite part is when the young David Cornwell shakes Thomas Mann's hand at a reading in Bern in 1949.

Volcanic Clouds Over Channel: Continent Cut Off

So while everyone West of the English Channel has known how to pronounce authors' names since about a week ago, that volcanic cloud has meant this vital information - AND incidentally my paper copy of New Books in German and my birthday present from my sister - got stuck somewhere on the way to continental Europe, and only hit Facebook today (unlike NBG and my present).

But that's OK. Because most of the time, it's easy as pie to pronounce German writers' names. I will now reveal to you the secret of German pronunciation, which I stumbled upon by chance at the tender age of thirteen. I have never looked back since. May it help you live a fulfilling and virtuous life.

So, are you ready? This is really big important stuff, you know. It really will make you sound like a bona-fide German. So hold onto your hats, because here it comes - the secret of German pronunciation:


You sure? OK.


All you have to do is pretend to come from the North of England, and have taken your teeth out. Newcastle or Redcar or somewhere like that. Yes, it's as simple as that. Just pronounce your vowels the Northerner way, and makes all your Ss a bit shhh-y. So it's not Günter Grarse, it's Günter soddin' Grass. And it's not Rainer Maria Rielk-ie, it's Rainer Maria Rillk-uh. Not Go-the, Goert-uh. Not Thomas Maann like a sissy Southener, Thomas Man, as in "strapping young man". Pretend to be Alan Bennett. Without the jowls.

And Zaimoglu is pronounced Sy-MOW-loo. I think. And Drvenkar is JVEN-car. And Özdogan is a bit like ES-dow-an.

My name - in case you'd been wondering - is a whole different kettle of fish and is pronounced in true unfathomable British style: DAR-bi-shah.