Oddest German Book Title Shortlist Translation Fun (?)

I'm sure I'm not the only one suffering from shortlist fatigue this week. So to spice up the zillionth shortlist announcement (on top translator Shelley Frisch's suggestion), this is your chance to try your hand at translating the six oddest German book titles officially voted for by the public.

All you have to do is post your English version of one or more of the titles in the comments section. If more than one person bothers to play along, I will select the winner and shower them with honour and praise, and possibly send them a random odd object I find lying around my flat (Kim Possible alarm clock, anyone?).

So here are the titles. Do your worst!

Nichtamtlicher Leitfaden zur Bewältigung von Projekten und zur Abweisung diesbezüglicher Irrtümer. Oder: Regeln für Hans-Peter
Frank Buddrus, Wiley

An dem Tag, als ich meine Friseuse küsste, sind viele Vögel gestorben
Josef Kleindienst, Sonderzahl

Der Tod auf der Schippe
Oder was Archäologen sonst so finden
Angelika Franz, Theiss

Zehn Tipps, das Morden zu beenden und den Abwasch zu beginnen
Hallgrímur Helgason, Tropen

Texas als Texttitel. Ein Rabiatkomödienroman
Max Höfler, Ritter

Die Frau, die allein ein ganzer Tisch war
Tor Åge Bringsværd, Onkel & Onkel

The winner of the official competition will be announced - can you guess? - at the Frankfurt Book Fair on 6 October. But the Champion Odd German Book Title Translator will be crowned beforehand, on 4 October.

Vote for the Oddest German Book Title

Blatantly and openly modelled on the British Diagram Prize, the funkily titled German equivalent Kuriosester Buchtitel 2010 is now open for your vote. There's a longlist of twenty odd titles, presented in random order when you click on it. The public whittles that down to a six-strong shortlist, and then three judges choose the winner. Incidentally, I met one of the judges at a party where I was obscenely drunk. Just so you know.

Cleverly, they released the longlist on the same day as the German Book Prize longlist, but seeing as I've been on an emotional bender since finishing the first draft of my Helene Hegemann translation, I only just noticed it. Only one book is on both lists, Jan Faktor's Georgs Sorgen um die Vergangenheit oder Im Reich des heiligen Hodensack-Bimbams von Prag. Which translates as something like "Gregor's Concern for the Past or In the Kingdom of the Holy Scrotum Dingdong of Prague".

The winner will be announced on 6 October at the Frankfurt Book Fair. They seem to get a nice framed certificate and a kiss on the cheek.