Sunday, 22 May 2011

eReader Sex Appeal...?

A few years ago I did a bit of an experiment. Usually if I'm reading a book on public transport I concentrate on actually reading the book. As you do. But I'd read somewhere or other about whether what you read on the train makes you more sexy, or some such fluff. So I chose various books and sort of read them while peering over the top to see how people reacted. The one that worked best was a book with a very sexy cover, a 2006 Penguin paperback of Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita. I remember getting a whole lot of male attention, which was nice except for some reason all the men who were interested in Bulgakov had beards. And I'm not really into beards.

Anyway, on Friday I read a piece on the very good German lit-blog litaffin, which was about some kind of conference on bookselling and publishing in the future. Or something along those lines that didn't really rock my boat all that much. Except for the comment that online bookseller René Kohl made: "The sex appeal that an eBook reader lends its owner on the table in a bar is about the same as that of an insurance policy." Now come on, I thought. I've just bought an e-reader and all my poverty-stricken bookish friends are really impressed. Surely the kudos of owning such a natty device that simply does what it says on the tin is translated into public transport sex appeal? And surely tech freaks will show an interest in a woman reading a book by electronic means?

Hence experiment two, for which experiment one served as the control run; i.e. I had previously established that a book can lend its reader sex appeal on public transport. In experiment two I dressed in an attractive manner and positioned myself on a station platform with my eReader device in my bag. While waiting for the train I gauged my sex appeal to be about eight out of ten (judging by the admiring glances, friendly hellos, etc. Of course, that might have been because I was staring at all the men on the platform, but who said I had to be strictly scientific about it?) On boarding the train, I deliberately placed myself in the vicinity of various male subjects who appeared to have a technical affinity, i.e. were talking on expensive phones, etc. I then whipped out my device and adopted the reading position.

At which point all male interest instantly ceased. I swear, it was like I'd just donned a cloak of invisibility. Despite my frequent sidelong glances, not one of the men sitting or standing around me paid me the slightest bit of attention from that point on. I'd probably have got more interest if I'd fanned myself with an insurance policy.

Later in the evening I made a last-ditch attempt to test out the eReader's sex appeal at a literary-type event, by taking it out of my bag and showing it around a bit. Nada. OK, I was standing next to a man with a much larger and shinier device, which also had a teleprompter function for those impromptu speeches and played music and stored photos. But still, I'd have appreciated a bit more than "Oh, yours is just an eReader..."

And so to the conclusion: an eReader is a useful device for reading books and manuscripts you only have on pdf. It will not, however, give you sex appeal. If you want a bookish bearded boyfriend, go for Bulgakov in paperback.

A bonus piece of advice: Don't carry your eReader around unprotected in a tote bag with your keys, purse, sunglasses, etc. all night long when you go drinking and dancing and generally banging it around until the dawn chorus. It may get scratched.

7 comments:

Kerstin Klein said...

:)))) Honestly I don´t even look when I see an e-Reader, But I always try to catch a glimpse at the title of the books people/men around me are reading.
E. g. I´m a huuuuuuge Apple fan, but it doesn´t really interested me when someone takes out an iPad.
Somehow books are waaaaay more sexy/sensual.

kjd said...

I guess e-readers are the equivalent of towelling dressing gowns - very practical and cosy at home but hide all the interesting stuff in a rather unsexy way.

manan said...

@kjd: I am just going to raise my proverbial hat to your comment above.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Katy
with this article you've posted a valuable contribution to saving the endangered species, book.

aquarium supplies said...

Sex Appeal + book = overrated formula, sad but true.

Adele said...

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A woman who is sexually repressed and disinterested in her man, with a long list of things she won't do in bed or that she thinks are "gross"... ends up cheating or finds herself dating a new guy, and suddenly she is insatiable and enthusiastically doing EVERYTHING she used to swear she would never do!

And it happens in reverse too. A woman who used to be sexually WILD settles down with the man she thinks is "husband material" and loses all interest in sex-- and even believes that it's just natural and normal for her stage of life.

What's really going on here is that there is a hidden sexual trigger inside every woman's brain, and when it's switched off, it's very hard for her to feel any enthusiasm or interest in sex at all, and when it's switched on...

Watch out! She turns into a wild animal of lust and desire!

Sex coach and author Alex Allman calls it "The Playmate Switch," because when it's flipped ON, it triggers a woman's sexual side as well as her more playful, mischievous, flirty, and fun side.

What switches it on?

YOU.

Novelty (a new guy she hasn't been with before), danger, forbidden romance, fun flirting... all of these things can easily flip it on temporarily...

But the reliable, biological, and long-term control over her Playmate Switch has to do with YOUR male behaviors-- behaviors that many men either repress or simply lose touch with over time.

Allman insists that this stuff is simple and natural, but it takes a level of sexual confidence and a willingness to actually try.

He's trained dozens of men to quickly overcome their anxieties around this issue, and to almost instantly start getting the kind of natural attraction and fun, sexy attention that they thought was only a fantasy.

>>> You can find out more about how to flip YOUR woman's Playmate Switch here <<<

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Women are ON YOUR SIDE when it comes to flipping their Playmate Switch!

They love it, it's natural, fun, sexy, and beautiful for them to have those feelings and emotions around you. They are rooting for you to figure this out!

Some men, especially men who have repressed this side of themselves for a long time and have suffered at the hands of women rejecting them because of it, find that fact hard to believe.

They'd RATHER try some kind of manipulation because it's so hard for them to believe that they could get a woman's sexual attention authentically.

Alex Allman wants to prove it to you!

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